Butterflies

by Kelsey Ibarra
(York, PA, USA)

We approach the line and familiar smells engulf my senses as we circle around in a tight group and begin our prayer.

"They that have hope in the Lord will renew their faith.
They will soar with eagle’s wing.
They will run and not grow weary,
Walk and not grow faint."

As we have clasped hands, and bowed our heads, an instant smell is wafted towards my nose.
Sweat.
It perspires off of our bodies and the smell arouses my mind.
It smells of determination and hard work, bringing me back to all the hours of practice we have put in to this season, for this one day…one race.
“Today is the day to leave it all out on the course.” I think to myself as I continue on with our prayer.

"The Lord God said, “Come to the edge.”
We said, “No, we are afraid.”
The Lord God said, “Come to the edge.”
We said, “No, we are afraid.”
The Lord God said, “Come to the edge.”
We came. He pushed us. And we flew.
Let’s fly girls!"

We squeeze each other’s hands tight, reassuring each other that we are strong, and we can finish this.
My confidence is growing, until the inevitable comes.
Along comes a whiff of Bengay: a product that is supposed to bring pain relief for many, but for me, only chaos.
My thoughts take a 180 turn.
Oh, how I hate that smell.
A nauseous feeling comes over me as butterflies arrive in my stomach and chills run down my spine.
This can only mean one thing.
Should I be afraid?
Can I really do this?
My knees begin to buckle,
My heart begins to beat faster.
“I think I can…No wait…I know I can.” I tell myself, angry for letting any feeling of doubt pass over me.
All the miles put in over the summer,
All those hills we climbed with speed.
All those mornings of waking up, feeling sore and fatigued.
It all comes down to this moment.
And with the startling boom of the gun, we are off.
I start with smells that once brought nervousness and jitters,
But finish with ones that bring to me a sense of accomplishment…
…As I go on to win the District III Cross Country Championship.