The Confusion of a Child

by Rebecca Pokela
(Green Bay, Wi)

I was three years old and I was so excited to go to my auntie's house to play with my cousin, she had this huge baby doll and her eyes really blinked. Holding my mommy's hand waiting on their front door step, I could smell my strawberry shortcake shampoo baking on my bleach blonde hair. That's the very moment I realized a person could smell summer. When we were finally through the front door I realized my mommy had tears streaming down her face, I said "don't cry mommy." she hugged and kissed me and said "I'll be back soon." I was off playing when she left and it had suddenly started to rain and thunder, I was really afraid of the thunder and when I went to go find my mother I was told she was gone and it was time for bed. My auntie and my uncle led me downstairs into a sort of utility room with a single bed, washer, dryer and all their baseball equipment hanging on the wall, the room was painted yellow and smelled of clean laundry. "I don't wanna sleep here I want to sleep at my house in my bed!" I started to cry. I was told to go to sleep and your mommy's going to be gone for a while. They shut the light off and closed the door, there was a night light but that didn't matter I was alone down there all by myself and the thunder was so loud. I could feel my little heart beating with panic and my head was spinning with the wonder of where my mommy was and why did she leave me here. I reassured myself that she would be back in the morning and we would go back home. The thunder crashed and I remembered that my gramma always said that angels and grampa were bowling in heaven and I cried myself to sleep.
When I awoke I could smell rain on cement I jumped out of my bed and ran to find my mommy she was nowhere to be found and that's how it remained for the many months that followed.